When did we become people that care so little about the feelings of those around us? How often do we ask someone how they are but start thinking about something else before they answer? I wish I could say that I never did this, but I have become aware of just how frequently I do it.
Perception and naivety.
Two character traits that contradict each other and have caused so many issues in my life. I am an incredibly perceptive person. It is something I pride myself in. It fits in well with my line of work as I work with people constantly and unfortunately, am lied to a lot. Being perceptive helps me be able to determine when a client is lying to me or telling the truth which is sometimes quite a trying task. However, I am naive. I see the good in everyone. It is not a bad thing until the desire to see the good in someone overcomes the very obvious negative things.
Determining what our various quality traits are and how they benefit and hinder us is so important. It is something that I have been focusing on as of late and it has opened my eyes to why certain things have happened in my life.
There are two kinds of extremes when it comes to people. The people that blame everyone else for things that happen in their life and the people who blame themselves for everything. I have been told by those close to me that I am the type of person that blames everyone else. I agreed and tried to change it. Then I realized that that wasn’t the case. I am the person that verbally blames others for things that happen, but internally I blame and victimize myself. All of which is incredibly unhealthy.
I blame others because it is the easy thing to do. It is a lot harder to sit down and dissect the actual reason why something occurred. I internally blame myself because deep down I believe that I always could have done something differently.
As of late I have just felt an overwhelming anger towards the apathetic, care-free nature of our society. When did it become okay to completely disregard those around us and not even consider how our actions might affect them? We have become a society of self-centered individuals who only seek things that will benefit themselves. We are driven by the desire to feel fulfilled regardless of what it takes to get there.
Love. We are commanded to love other as we love ourselves. We are told to love our enemies. We are told these things over and over again yet we choose not to listen. I am learning that loving those who hurt me is one of the most rewarding and freeing experiences. I spent time feeling such complete anger, borderline hatred towards an person that did not even realize they hurt me. What was that anger doing? It was not affecting the individual, it was just eating away at me. It was making me become someone that I did not like. Then, like a switch being turned off, the anger dissipated. I began to understand where that person was coming from, even though I did not agree with it, and I stopped hating them. Now, I feel compassion towards them. I have forgiven them even though they still do not realize that there was anything for me to forgive.
So, ;et’s learn to let go and not hold on. Let’s learn to love and not hate.