They are everywhere.
We layer ourselves. There is a depth to our personalities, our emotions, and our likes and dislikes that form layers that others can peel back as they get to know us. Sometimes as another gets to know you, they discover another layer that you were not aware of. We are constantly changing and therefore adding layer after layer.
It is the best thing when you meet someone who is equally interested in getting to know you as you are them. There are all different levels of relationships. Strangers, acquaintances, friends, significant others, and family. Not everyone is intended to get to know you in your entirety, in fact, more often than not very few people ever get that far. (Really, can anyone ever truly know you in your entirety? But you get the picture.)
There are layers for a reason. You choose who gets in. Sometimes you willingly show yourself to others, sometimes people find their own way in. There is nothing like realizing that you were important enough to someone for them to spend the time pushing through walls and peeling away at your layers. Even when you resisted. It’s that person that you do not want to let go of.
Let go of the people who do not care. Let go of the people who never push beyond the surface.
Let go as in work at their level. Do not waste energy knocking down the walls of someone who will not even brush the surface of getting to know you. A relationship involves two. It cannot work if one person is pushing to get to know the other while forcing the other to know everything about themselves. If you spend hours, days on end with a person and they only know what you have willingly told them, then stop.
It is important to pursue friendships. Yes, there are situations where you need to push your way into someone’s life when they will not return the gesture, but it takes careful consideration to determine which relationships rightfully require that. Do not put your heart into someone who will not even offer a listening ear. It may sound like common sense. You may want to say, “Duh, who would do that?” But you think that until you are in the situation where you are all in and you just cannot understand why the other person is not.