There are a lot of seasons now that are just difficult to get through. Seasons that are full of being happy for those around me, but in the background pouting with a bunch of “that should have be me.”

Being a Type A person means a lot of planning. A five year plan? Yep. Had that. The means to actually fulfill that five year plan? Yep. Had that too. The hardest part about being a planner is that plans almost never go according to plan. You would think that after a lifetime of this, one would get the picture and give it up. That is not so.

So, instead thoughts about the past swarm around in my mind and “what ifs” play over and over again.

Here’s the thing, I have never once doubted my decisions. There has never been a moment where I wanted to go back in time and choose a different path. However, there is the part of me that wishes things had just been different altogether.

It has been two and a half years and it just does not really seem to get any easier. Talking about it no longer serves a purpose. Family and friends have heard enough about it and honestly talking about it never really helped. So, I sit here writing about it before work because this blog has become my greatest outlet.

This year marks the end of what was my five year plan. To be more exact, May 2016 marked the end of the five year plan. Want to know what went according to plan in those five years? Absolutely nothing. Everything changed and nothing was in the plan.

Here’s to not just getting through this season, but to overcoming and enjoying this season.